10. VIDEO GIRL
COMPOSED BY SEAN BURKE & MARK WATSON
PUBLISHED BY AMORFOUS MUSIC
ALL VOCALS BY SEAN BURKE

Dream dream dream dream

CHORUS 1

I’m dreaming of a video girl
Someone to bring some light to my world
I wish I had a video girl
With stereotypical boobs, ass and curls
I’m dreamin’

I once had a girl called Lisa
And I did everything to please her
She was a good girl I could take to my folks
But my homey thought she was an elaborate hoax
You see Lisa was a little too butch for me
Not like the girls you see on BET
So I set her free ‘cause I needed a honey
Now she’s up and left with all her money (Damn)
I went out with a girl called Sue who left me blue
She had no breasts an upgrade was due
She worked out too but her breasts never grew
She was really cute but I needed someone new
I need about 3 like the rappers on MTV
I stare at them with glee but it’s not meant to be
Been searchin’ through the bars scopin’ near and far
Now I have to use a cab ‘cause Sue took her car

CHORUS

I can’t find a video girl

My homey hooked me up with a girl called Candice
The sex was tremendous but her ass was horrendous
It was so big it fit a stadium gig
Like the Grand Canyon with a little wet creek
And she weighed a ton unlike the girls on VH1
When she laid on top she could eclipse the sun
I used to pass out so she called me a fader
Candice took her food and left with her refrigerator
I was set up on a blind date with a girl called Michelle
On the first date she said that I could ring her bell
I thought that was swell till I saw her wishing well
I had to put on a harness just in case I fell
I went in it too deep and the walls were very steep
I fell in head first and was saved by my feet
I like my girls tight like what I see on SIMUNYE
So I slid out the groove and got my ass outta there

I one night at a club I hooked a girl called Tracy
She was hot and racy but her voice was kinda bassy
She was everything I wanted but I couldn’t jump on it
She was saving it for marriage had to slip a ring on it
She would do a dance for me like the girls on CHANNEL O
But she would only get freaky when the lights were low
I had to see the booty so I devised a plan
Only to discover that Tracy was a man

CHORUS 1
CHORUS 2

I can’t find a video girl
Been searchin’ all over
All over the world
Why do I only see them on tv
Are they for real
Is there one for me

Dream dream dream dream For a while I was seeing this girl called Daisy
But her high-pitched voice used to drive me crazy
It was a cross between a vacuum cleaner and a drill
It used to change who I was ‘cause I was ready to kill
With some strong will I stuck it out ‘till I blew my top
If only I could mute her like the girls on TOP OF THE POPS
My quality of life took a knock when I made her drop
I had to take stock or be locked up by a cop

So it went on and on I was always on the run
Years later I’m still waiting but she still hasn’t come
This video girl, this perfect dream specimen
I gave up the good life for a virtual woman
I chose the silicone now I’m on my own
The real loves of my life have all moved on
Easy come easy go is a phrase I’ve learnt to know
Now all I’ve got are these damn music shows

CHORUS 1
CHORUS 2